


Getting On

by el_spirito



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Permanent Injury, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 15:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3254504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_spirito/pseuds/el_spirito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen and Cougar are out of the business after Jensen is permanently injured and they're getting on the best they can. Of course, just because they're done helping Clay on the hunt for Max doesn't mean Clay is done with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting On

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to warn you that there is a seizure in this fic, though not very graphically described.

Usually, Cougar was able to sleep well. Well, maybe not usually. 75% of the time. 50% on a bad week. He knew it was worrying Jensen, and he really really didn't want to worry Jensen, but the other man was annoyingly observant when he wanted to be. And he always wanted to be when it came to Cougar.

xxxx

_The air is hot and smells of metal, blood, and gasoline. He doesn't know where Jensen is. Someone is shouting but Cougar can't tell what he's saying; his whole world has narrowed to Jensen, Jensen, where the hell is Jensen? Strong hands grip him under the arms and drag him out of the car and he can hear a man talking to him. He doesn't even realize he's yelling Jensen's name until a woman squats in front of him. She is speaking softly and her hand is on his knee but he just wants Jensen._

xxxx

He woke up gasping for air and quickly tried to quiet his breathing, casting a quick look to Jensen. The other man was still sleeping soundly, thank Dios, so Cougar quietly crept out of bed. He padded to the kitchen and got a glass of water, resolutely ignoring the trembling in his hands as he drank. The water was cool but did nothing to calm his nerves. Damn but he hated this.

After a few minutes, when his heart was no longer pounding in his ears and his breathing had mostly evened out, he walked over to the wall where they had hung the few family pictures they had. Neither of them had had particularly great childhoods, and certainly not well documented ones, but the few pictures they had were carefully framed and hanging up. There was one of Jensen with his sister when he was only 10 or so, and another, (Cougar's favorite, though he would never admit it) where Jensen was in kindergarten, all blonde tufts of hair and missing teeth and huge glasses. There were a few more pictures of when he was a kid, and, of course, some of their unit.

There was only one of Cougar's childhood. He could still remember when it was taken, when he was eleven years old and spending the summer at his grandparents' house. He had spent the day working with his abuela in her garden, weeding around the peppers and corn and beans, the sun beating warm on his back, and she had tottered out with her old Polaroid and taken a picture of him as he kneeled on the ground. Even now, as he stood with the last vestiges of his nightmare draining away, the memory still brought him comfort.

"Hey," Jensen said suddenly. Cougar jumped slightly, startled, and Jensen frowned. "Are you okay?" He limped to Cougar's side and leaned against him. "Nightmare?"

Cougar nodded tersely. "Where is your cane?"

Jensen sighed. "By the bed."

Cougar shook his head and smiled, stringing Jensen's arm over his shoulder and guiding him to the couch. "It is doing no good there."

"You're telling me."

Cougar helped Jake get situated, stretching his bad leg out on the couch and settling the other man's head in his lap.

"Was it the usual one, then?"

Cougar slouched down on the couch and allowed his hand to tangle in Jensen's hair. "Yes," he said finally.

"Damn it," Jensen muttered. "Coug –"

"I'm okay," Cougar said. Jensen reached up and grabbed his hand.

"I am too."

They sat together in silence until they both drifted to sleep.

xxxx

The next morning Cougar dropped Jensen off at work and headed to his own job. Jensen, unsurprisingly, had adapted easily to civilian life; he'd gotten a job at a small computer repair shop whose employees were almost as passionate and nerdy as he was.

It had taken Cougar a bit longer to find his niche. He'd started out at a local gun range giving shooting lessons, but it hadn't taken long for him to grow frustrated teaching people who thought they already knew everything, or, alternately, knew absolutely nothing. He also didn't really enjoy talking, and teaching novices (or stubborn asses) required far too much of it for him to be comfortable.

It had been Jensen, of course, who had suggested he try cooking. ("You should cook for more people, Cougs, I'm serious. Your abuela's tamales are orgasmic.") And, once he found his place in a small Mexican restaurant, he quickly realized that he loved it.

In the mornings, it was Cougar and Jorge who prepared for the lunch rush, and Cougar almost always arrived first. This morning proved no different. He got to work dicing tomatoes and chopping up cilantro, grinning when Jorge came in hungover like every Monday. They chatted for a few minutes before quietly doing their own duties; Jorge's ability to work quietly and allow Cougar his space was another bonus to his job. That, and the flexible hours.

He came in early in the mornings and prepped for the lunch rush, cooked through lunch, then prepped for dinner. That meant he could go home fairly early, usually picking Jensen up on the way. Tuesdays and Thursday s, he dropped Jensen off at physical therapy in the mornings, then picked him up during his lunch break. His boss, Catalina, was understanding and sweet and adored Jensen, so everything worked out in the end.

Today, his lunch break didn't come until 2:30. Cougar settled down at a table in the back with an enchilada and checked his phone. Jensen had texted a half hour earlier: Got off early, took the bus home. See you later. :) Cougar grinned and finished eating. Whenever Jensen went home early he cooked dinner, and while Cougar's cooking was pretty good, Jensen's bordered on divine.

xxxx

Their home was small, two bedrooms, one bath, but it was perfect for them. The kitchen was big enough for them to reasonably cook whatever they wanted, and there was even a small yard in the back with beds should they ever decide to grow a garden.

Today when Cougar opened the door, he was immediately struck by the smell of something cooking, definitely Italian.

"Jake?" he called as he bent over to undo his laces.

"Coug!" Jensen shouted from the kitchen. Cougar finished taking his shoes off and wandered into the kitchen, mouth watering as he inhaled.

"Risotto," Jensen said, holding a spoon up. Cougar opened his mouth and Jake popped the spoon in, watching Cougar closely to gauge his reaction. Cougar, for his part, closed his eyes and let the flavor wash over his tongue, just managing to suppress a groan.

Jake smirked. "I am such a culinary wizard," he said.

"Mm-hmm," Cougar agreed. "Can I help with anything?"

"Nah," Jensen said. "Actually, I got you something. It's in the backyard."

Cougar raised an eyebrow and Jake laughed.

"Don't eyebrow me, go!"

Cougar cast one more uncertain look in Jensen's direction before heading out the back door. There, carefully arranged on the patio, was a pallet of plants: peppers and tomatoes and a few small bean sprouts, and an assortment of herbs. There was also a bag of fertilizer and another of soil.

Cougar, never a big talker anyway, was at a complete loss for words.

"What do you think?" Jensen asked, leaning against the doorway, bad leg extended awkwardly in front of him.

In response, Cougar wrapped his arms around the younger man in as tight a hug as he could manage without throwing Jake off balance and pressed his nose into the junction of Jake's shoulder and neck.

"Thank you," he whispered, "gracias por todo."

Jensen returned the hug with one hand, the other still holding the door frame. "Figured you can go ahead and get started while I finish dinner, hmm?"

Cougar squeezed tighter for a second and pulled away, grinning. "We will eat well once they start producing, no?"

Jensen smiled and hobbled inside. Cougar opened the bag of soil, inhaling deeply at the familiar scent, then plunged his hands in.

xxxx

_Cougar is being helped to an ambulance when they pull Jensen from the wreckage of the car. He can't see much from where he is, but Jensen's head looks to be covered with blood._

_"No, wait," he says to the paramedic loading him in. "Just let me see him, just for a second."_

_The medic stops. "They need to hurry," is all he says._

_Cougar nods and watches as they bring Jake closer on their way to his ambulance. This close Cougar can see the collar around his neck and the oxygen mask on his face and the way the side of his head looks wrong, somehow._

_"Shit," he whispers, and his knees buckle._

_"Let's go," the medic says. "They're gonna do their best for him."_

_Numbly, Cougar allows himself to be led to the ambulance, wondering if this couldn't all be a dream._

xxxx

Jensen was moaning in pain, his face sweaty. Though still asleep, his hands gripped convulsively at his knee and his mouth was twisted in agony. Cougar looked at him blearily for a second, still not fully awake, before his eyes widened and his heart sank. He didn't know how long Jensen had been in pain before he'd realized.

"Jake," he said, shoving lightly at Jensen's shoulder. "Jake, you must wake up."

Jensen's eyes shot open before he squinched them shut again. A strangled groan came out of his mouth. "Cougar, I – oh fuck it hurts!"

"I know, I know," Cougar said, resting one hand on Jensen's shoulder , the other on his leg. "Hang on. I'll get your meds. Just hold on."

He scrambled for Jensen's bag, only just able to keep his hands from trembling. He'd long been the one who stitched Jake, and the others, up after they were injured, but somehow this was always so much worse.

Swiftly, with long practiced ease, he palmed a few pills and grabbed the water bottle on Jensen's nightstand.

"Shh, come on, easy," he whispered, easing Jensen's head up and helping him choke the pills down.

Jake collapsed bonelessly against Cougar, exhausted, his face was damp with tears. He was trembling minutely, long fingers clutching at the sheets.

"I hate this," Cougar whispered into his hair. "I hate seeing you in pain."

Jensen didn't have the strength to answer, but he gripped tightly at Cougar's arm.

Sleep eluded Cougar long after Jensen drifted off.

xxxx

Physical therapy always exhausted the shit out of Jensen. His therapist was a tiny woman named Fiona who could have kicked his ass when he was still in top form, and she basically wiped the floor with him every session. He was grateful for it, of course, because it was the only way he stood a chance of walking without a cane (unlikely thought that was) and because he knew it was strengthening the gnarled limb.

It was still super nice to get dropped off, half-asleep, by Cougar, and just conk out on the couch with Netflix on. Today was no different; Cougar guided him into the house and tucked him in with his favorite Star Wars blanket and a water bottle at his side before heading back to work, and though Jensen intended to start season 2 of Breaking Bad, it was only a few minutes before he was completely out.

When he woke, Clay was sitting on the couch.

"What the hell," Jensen hissed, propping himself upright. "What are you doing here?"

Clay shrugged. "I needed to talk to you. And Cougar."

Jensen scrubbed at his forehead and sighed. "At least Aisha calls ahead," he said. Clay looked at him with a look that Jake was used to now, but that he'd never expected to get from his superior office: pity and concern.

"Don't," he said. "Just tell me what you want."

"Aisha and I have tracked Max down. He's already gaining money and supporters and it's only a matter of time before he comes after us again."

"Mm," Jensen said. "And, what, you wanna round up the gang? For old times' sake?"

"And," Clay said, looking at Jensen and sighing, "and we could use a sniper."

Jensen stared at him, a number of emotions running through him; he let them all wash over him for a moment before he decided anger was winning and clenched his jaw.

"What, no spot on your team for a crippled, seizure-prone hacker?" he spat, levering himself to his feet. He listed heavily and were it not for his cane he would have toppled over, but he was standing and he was pissed. "Why the hell did you come here to see me then? Huh?"

"Jensen-" Clay started, but Jake wasn't in the mood for listening.

"You just show up out of nowhere, you don't care when Cougar and I need you, and you just expect us to uproot our lives for you? For your revenge? Fuck you!"

"Corporal!" Clay barked, and Jensen cursed his years in the military as, out of habit, he shut up. "I came to see you because I'm going to come back tomorrow to talk to Cougar and I want him to be able to make a decision without anything dragging him down. You reading me, Jensen?"

A wave of sickening heat seemed to pour over Jensen as he swallowed thickly, infuriated and hurt and scared that Clay was finally verbalizing what Cougar had been thinking the entire time since the accident.

"I asked if you understood, Corporal," Clay said.

"Yes sir," Jensen said. "Now get the hell out of my house."

Clay hesitated, so Jensen reached behind the couch where Cougar insisted he keep a gun, "just in case," drew it, and levelled it at him.

"I _said_ ," he hissed, "to get out of my house."

Clay put his hands up, jaw twitching and fists clenching in poorly concealed anger, and backed out of the room.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Jensen sank into the couch, put his head in his hands, and cried.

xxxx

Cougar got home a few hours later with In-N-Out burgers and Jensen plastered a smile on his face and laughed at all the right times, but he was miserable and he knew that Coug would figure it out sooner or later.

It ended up being sooner, as they cuddled on the couch and watched MasterChef Junior together. They watched as the kids recoiled in disgust at their challenge of cooking a whole fish that seemed larger than many of the contestants, and normally Jensen would have a running commentary going. Tonight he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Is something bothering you?" Cougar asked, frowning in concern.

"I'm good," Jensen said. "Just thinking."

"Hmm," said Cougar. "Perhaps you should stop thinking so seriously."

"Yeah," Jensen said. "Maybe I should."

xxxx

_Jensen wakes up after four days in a medically induced coma. Practically his entire upper leg, knee included, has been reconstructed, and he suffered a skull fracture. The doctors aren't hopeful he'll walk without a limp, even with extensive rehab, and his head's probably going to have issues too._

_He has his first seizure two days later, and when he has another one a month after he gets out of the hospital, the doctors look at him with grave faces and announce that he now has trauma-induced epilepsy and the seizures are just going to be something they have to deal with. They give them a ton of meds and a handful of brochures and send them home with what amounts to completely changed lives._

xxxx

Jensen hadn't had a seizure in months, so when Cougar was startled awake by the familiar moaning noises and the horrible, obscene jerking movements, he nearly had a panic attack. Instead, he forced himself to calm down and started timing the seizure, made sure that Jake's flailing wouldn't result in any broken bones or lamps, and prayed under his breath.

It wasn't too bad, only a minute and a half, though it felt like much longer and still left Jensen panting for air, muscles like liquid. The sheets had been soiled, so Cougar changed Jake's clothes then bundled him up in a blanket and half-carried, half-coaxed him to the couch then got to work cleaning the bed.

He knew it was probably no coincidence that Jake had been so quiet today and then had had a seizure; the doctors had warned that even with all the medication he was taking, he would still be more susceptible when he was under high stress.

Cougar was fairly certain he hadn't been under high stress this morning. Something had changed, and he was determined to find out what.

xxxx

Jensen woke up on the couch, in boxers he hadn't gone to bed in and with muscles that hurt like hell, and knew immediately that he'd had a seizure. Cougar was sitting at the kitchen table staring at him.

"Shit that's unnerving," he muttered, trying to sit up and immediately embarrassed at how weak his arms were. Cougar sighed and helped him, then went back to the table.

"You're, uh, looking pretty serious there, Cougs," Jensen said.

"I am," Cougar said. "Yesterday you act strange, last night you have a seizure. I want to know what's going on."

"Right," Jensen said, scrubbing at his eyes. "Yeah, okay. We'll talk. Talking's good. This is good."

Cougar came over and sat on the couch next to Jensen, putting a hand on his good leg.

"Tell me," he said. "Please."

And damn if that didn't take away any resistance Jake might have had.

"Damn it," Jensen said. "Okay. So Clay might have come over yesterday."

Cougar stiffened next to him and swore fervently in Spanish.

"He and Aisha have tracked Max down. They, uh, they could use some backup. Of the sniping variety."

"And?" Cougar prodded.

"And nothing," Jensen said. Cougar glared at him. "Fine. And he wanted to make sure that you have a chance to decide, you know, for yourself. If that's something you want to do."

"For myself," Cougar echoed. "What does he mean –"

Jensen could see the moment it clicked and bit his lip nervously.

"Don't get upset," he said. "I mean, he's right, I'm just dead weight at this point, and it's not like it would be a forever thing, probably just a couple-of-month thing, and that's okay, right? I'll just hang out here and watch Netflix and I'll watch out for your plants and when you get back I'll cook new recipes – "

"Jake," Cougar said, his voice low. "Stop. I will not leave. Not now, not ever. You are not a burden, and I will kill Clay if he says that in my hearing."

"Whoa, no killing necessary," Jensen said.

"I will kill him," Cougar repeated.

"Right. Okay then. Killing is good too. We like killing."

Cougar sighed and moved closer, tucking himself in as close to Jensen as he could get without jostling his leg. "Do you really think of yourself that way?"

Jake was quiet for a minute before he shrugged. "Sometimes," he said finally.

"You aren't," Cougar said. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Love you too, Cougs," Jensen said, pressing a kiss to Cougar's hair. "But you still have to promise you won't kill Clay when he shows up later."

Cougar looked up. "Really?" he said, his voice as close to whining as Jensen had ever heard it.

Jake laughed. "Really," he said. "Now let's watch some Breaking Bad, huh?"


End file.
